In Defense Of Breast

Breast. Guys love them, undeniably. Just about any heterosexual male would easily put looking at breast at the top of their list of favorite things to do, just slightly behind playing with them. But why? Why the infatuation with big, round, full breast? That beautiful, curvaceous swell, heaving slightly in rhythm to her breath, while the perfect nipple stands….sorry. Got distracted.

To the female, a male’s obsession with mammary glands may seem odd, if not extreme. Where does the attraction stem from? Is it just part of an Oedipus complex? Appreciation of symmetry? Is it a learned behavior, or are we just sex-starved idiots? Maybe even a mixture of all of the above?

You might be surprised, but the reason guys like breast is because we have to. We have no choice, it’s encoded in our being and nothing can change it. It’s not TV, girls in skimpy outfits, or sexist beer advertisements that fuel our attraction to round things. I can promise you this, it’s not learned behavior. You could take a male baby and leave him in the woods to be raised by squirrels. He could live his entire life never seeing another human being, let alone a developed female. You could keep him ignorant of the existence of breast, and it still wouldn’t matter. As soon as he hits puberty, he’s going to leave the tree, leave his adopted squirrel family behind, and venture to the city looking for a strip club with his fists full of nuts (so to speak) to put down their g-strings. Ignorant of the appeal of the opposite sex’s desirability or not, it’s in his nature. Why?

It’s in our DNA. You might as well ask why we eat, or breath air. Procreation is one of man’s basic survival instincts. Food, shelter, sex. Deep down, buried between “Eat to live” and “Beat everything that challenges you over the head with a blunt instrument” is, “Get every able bodied female pregnant to insure your genes are passed on to another generation.”

Yes, modern society has changed and evolved. Our needs and have become different, but our genes don’t give a damn about over population, women’s lib, equal rights, or any of the other accomplishments civilization has worked so hard to achieve. Even the most educated, well learned, intelligent male still has that instinct screaming at him daily, “Quick, have sex with her, and her, and her, and him, and…wait, scratch that last one.”

The fixation with breast comes from the survival of the species. Early man worshiped full figured statues of large breasted fertility gods because they understood where life came from and who was truly responsible for their tribe’s survival. It came not only from impregnating the female tribe members and keeping them safe from harm, but being sure to “knock up that one with the big breast, she can nurse a lot of kids.” A robust, healthy chested female could not only bare and nurse many offsprings, but also protect them, allowing the primitive man to go out hunting, knowing the female was capable of taking care of everything on the home front.

When I was eight, my brother came home on shore leave from the Navy. I was digging through his duffle bag when he was gone because, well, it’s what eight year olds do. While rummaging through his belongings, I stumbled across his pack of nudie playing cards. Each card featuring a picture of a different nude female. Up until that moment, I had never seen an exposed breast. My boys hadn’t dropped yet, and puberty and testosterone were still years away. Even without the hormone’s I was still mesmerized by the deck. It wasn’t coming from below the waist, it was that part of human instinct kicking in. Eight year olds don’t get hard ons, but I’d dig that pack out every chance I could get and just stare at their breast, not even understanding what the appeal was.

Now, that being said, yes the urge is natural. But we also haven’t put down thousands upon thousands of years of human history to be complete primitive animals concerning the subject. The instinct is there, but we’ve also evolved enough to have more refined taste in the matter.

Most guys are still close enough to our early ancestors in development to have the same taste as Bill. His quote; “I don’t see what all the fuss is over girls with triple D breast. Not when there’s triple E’s, F’s, and G’s.” While the animal side demands larger, a civilized mind can have more refined taste.

Now, myself, I’m all about the itty bitty titties. Numerous reasons. The first being my ability to see the big picture. I like nice little butts more then big tits and the two seldom coincide together naturally. That, and big titties now tends to mean droopage and a big ass later down the road. Real tits rock. Secondly, I just don’t have the same large breasted fetish most guys do. I think it comes in part from never having been breast-feed. My mom’s defense is that I was “allergic” to her milk. Honestly, I think it was just because she didn’t like me much.

To me a mouthful and a handful are more than enough to make me happy though. Small nipples, all the better. Though no preference of personal taste matters if I just like the girl. I’ve dated mostly small breasted girls, but have went out with a few girls with large ta-ta’s. Given the choice though – I’ll go for flat and smart over big breasted and stupid.

Final word to females, no matter how small your breast are, as long as you show anything resembling cleavage, guy’s will notice you. You’re appealing to his animal nature, which doesn’t take much. It’s hard not to notice, on pretty much all the social networks, that the more flesh a girl shows in her pictures, the more males she tends to have on her friends list. When hunting for a man, what you capture will depend on the bait you use. If you use your tits to capture a guy, don’t be surprised when he later leaves you for a bigger pair once yours start sagging.

Sex Slaves

So a few years back I was hanging out at a bar with a few friends of mine. We were talking about a girl we knew, and I mentioned, “I don’t like her. She’s too bossy.” As soon as I said it, everyone stopped talking and gave me that accusational look. You know the one, the “I can’t believe you just said that” look. No? I guess it’s just me then. I get that look all the damn time. I swear, almost every time I open my mouth. I mean, excuse the hell out of me, I didn’t realize that it was so damn taboo to talk about porn during Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe I’d realize that type of thing was a faux pas if you guys had gotten rid of the home videos of my own damn conception so I couldn’t accidentally stumble across them while trying to find where you hid my Christmas presents. You ever stop to think that watching them might kind of fuck me up? That maybe it might not be the healthiest thing in the world for a ten year old to see? Huh? Sorry…start over.

So a few years back I was hanging out at a bar with a few friends of mine. We were talking about a girl we knew, and I mentioned, “I don’t like her. She’s too bossy.” As soon as I said it, everyone stopped talking and gave me that accusational look. You know the one, the “I can’t believe you just said that” look. I immediately defended myself. “I am not bossy. I’m just…good…at convincing people…to do what I want them to do…with threats of violence if needed.”

But it got me to thinking that, ok, maybe I am the domineering type. Just a little. So I did what any rational person would do when confronted with a revelation about themselves. I sat down and started journaling, giving serious thought and consideration about this new information; what it said about me, and how I could use it to make myself a better person - both for myself, and everyone I come in contact with.

You didn’t believe that did you? Good. No, I got pissed, got drunk, probably punched someone before drawing the rational conclusion that maybe I should get into a BDSM relationship (for those of you who don’t know that’s Bondage & Discipline/Domination & Submission/Sadism & Masochism). I’m obviously a Dom. I like things done my way and I’m really good at giving orders. I’m definitely not a Sub. I’ve been told repeatedly that I have issues with authority and it’s pretty hard to get me to do anything I don’t want to – that and I hate bossy people. So yeah, that type of life style might fit my personality. Especially after I found there was a subsection of the Subs called Slaves.

I join a few sites and start looking for a female Sub/Slave in my area. I was very selective in my choice, I had to be picky, didn’t want no ugly slave. After a bit of looking I found an attractive girl that caught my interest, and of course wanted me – as any female in their right mind would. We corresponded a bit, sent a few emails to start getting to know each other, and it was looking like it was going to happen. We got to the part about our Dom/Sub relationship was going to be like, and she wanted to know how she, as a Slave, could serve me as her Master. Keeping in mind that the more domineering the Master, the happier the slave is, I sent her a list.

“The dishes need done, the floors need swept, the kitty litter needs cleaned and the rug vacuumed. The lawn will need to be done at least once a week, and windows monthly. I expect a cup of coffee waiting for me when I get up, dinner when I get home and a bath run for me nightly. The bedding will need to be washed every other week, or as needed.” The list went on and on like that for about two or three pages.

Apparently they’re not that kind of slave. It’s all supposed to be all sexual, part of bedroom play. Spankings and making them stand in the corner and stuff like that. Trust me, I was going to fuck her too; I had every intention of that. I was just trying to be courteous considering how tired I figured she was going to be the first few weeks catching up with all the housework. I thought it would be rude to make her please me in bed after hours and hours of cleaning. I mean, it’s kind of stupid to give her sexual orders in bed that don’t get anything done while the kitty litters over flowing.

And don’t get me wrong; from a sexual point of view it’s a pretty cool concept. I guess. It’s just that the apartment is a mess…

How To Prevent A Guy From Cheating

Guys cheat. It’s part of what they do. “But why,” you ask. “Am I not good enough? What more can I do to make him happy?” Nothing, you’ve done everything you can and probably more. It has nothing to do with you. Deep down every guy wants to fuck every beautiful girl in the world, and some of the ugly ones too - if they have a nice rack. It’s in their nature. Like it or not, humans are animals. Animals that paint and write songs and all too often wear horribly out dated clothing, but animals still the same. Just like women are prone to biological clocks going off, guys have the need to impregnate every female they come in contact with to be sure his genes are passed down for another generation. It’s as natural as a domesticated cat sharpening their claws on the couch to be better prepared for the dinner it never has to catch since it now has human slaves to provide it’s every need. It’s a natural instinct, and you’re never going to be able to keep a guy from wanting to have sex with other women.

Now, a more evolved guy will be aware of these needs and understand that, while they are natural, it doesn’t mean they need to be acted on. If you’re in a relationship with someone a bit lower on the evolutionary scale, being aware of this tendency will allow you to help compensate for his more basic urges. Just like teaching a dog not to piddle on the rug, you’ll never keep him from thinking about it, but there are ways to prevent him from actually acting on his instincts.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. One of the most sure fire ways to keep a guy from cheating is to keep him well fed. “Because if he’s well feed and happy, he’ll be less likely to wander?” No, that would be silly. You’re thinking of stray dogs, guys aren’t that complicated. What I mean is fatten him up a bit. Actually, a lot. The goal is to get him fat enough that other girls wouldn’t want to fuck him. When he starts sweating butter is a good sign you can lay off the fattening foods. Once other women start wrinkling up their noses when he walks by, you can be secure that he is yours, and only yours. The downside is, you might not want to take him to bed either. Or if you do, be sure you get on top. There is also a possibility that once he gets so fat he can’t get laid for free, he’ll start spending all your money on whores.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Think lower. As mentioned, a well-feed dog is less likely to stray. Guys are dogs who need to be feed another way. I’m not saying it’s easy to keep it interesting for both of you in the bedroom. But would you rather put on the sexy French maid outfit every now and then to keep him happy, or worry about him screwing the actual maid while you’re out? Even more disturbing if your maid happens to be a male immigrant named Manuel.

Mark your territory. This doesn’t work for guys when it comes to girls, mostly because other guys don’t care what the girl was doing an hour before, as long as she’s hot, but leave your mark. Before he walks out the door, heading towards the bar, latch on to his neck like a vacuum cleaner and give him a hickey. Big hickies are a great way to keep other women from being interested. Wedding rings can be taken off; the same can’t be said for hickies. There might be some temptation to just brand your name on him, but I think you’ll find most guys far more interested in making out than having burning iron applied to their skin.

Tell the truth about your sister or best friend. Embarrassing secrets are a good way to keep a guy from being interested in the attractive females he meets through you. Years ago, I met my girlfriend’s sister. The sister and I hit it off immediately and had a lot in common. On the drive home, I mentioned, “Your sister’s really cool and pretty.” My girlfriend shrugged and said, “Yeah, but she gets around. She got VD from her last boyfriend. You should’ve seen it, she swelled up and it looked like she had a football between her legs. And you’d never believe how much puss there was.” All of a sudden her sister wasn’t pretty anymore.

Keep him entertained. Instead of complaining about some of his lame hobbies, encourage him. Yes, it is annoying watching him spend hours playing video games, watching sports, working on cars, or whatever pointless thing he enjoys, but think about this. All the time he wastes on his hobby is time he’s not spending trying to cheat. Kind of makes you want to buy him a new game, doesn’t it?

Buy him porn. Don’t complain about it, it serves a purpose. It gives him a means of cheating on you in his mind, which he’s going to do anyways, and less likely to actually find a real life alternative. Going out of town for a few days and you want to make sure he doesn’t stray? Leave him a few pornos and some hand lotion. Not only does he now think he has the coolest girlfriend in the world; it also accomplishes some thing else. By now you should know that two things happen after a guy cums. He gets less stupid about getting laid when the need is filled, and he gets lazy. Almost all guys need sleep after cumming, something women always complain about. Use our weaknesses for your benefit. Leave him alone with the porn and he’s going to masturbate, then fall asleep. It may not be what you want him to do, but it helps keep him out of trouble when you’re not there. One word of warning, don’t blame me if you’re dating one of the few guys with enough energy to get up and look for more after blowing his load.

Reward him when he does something that makes you happy. Guys are fairly oblivious when it comes to making women happy, you have to condition them subtly to let them know not only when they do something wrong (we always know when we’ve pissed off our girlfriends – we just usually don’t know why) as well as when they do something wrong. Guys would be far more opt to go watch chick flicks if we’re guaranteed a hand job somewhere in there.

So there you have it. Understand a guy’s needs (all two of them) and you’ll be able to keep him from straying. Yes, guys suck. But what are your other options? Sleeping with women? If for some reason what you read here at The Truth About Your Boyfriend does turn you off of guys and onto women, nothing says “thank you” like nude pictures of you and your new lesbian lover.