Welcome

Welcome to The Truth About Your Boyfriend. We hope you’re finding everything to be as offensive and as in poor of taste as we intended it to be. We've been around for awhile now and have been kicked off of myspace twice already, so some of you may have already seen the page, but many haven’t. For the benefit of the new comers, we wanted to take a minute and give you some information about the people behind the questionable humor.

For the time being everything is being done by two guys. Heading the team are Bill and Johnny Mahoney, who may or may not be brothers. Expect if we’re not brothers and we have the same last name, then that sounds really gay (not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, it just so happens that we’re not. Bill would like to point out that he fully supports hot girls exploring their bi-curious tendencies – especially if there’s a camera involved). So, yeah, two brothers. Why not?

We’d like to say that we’re two really nice guys who have been standing in the shadows of asshole boyfriends, ignored by their girlfriends for being such nice guys and tired of watching said girlfriends being constantly abused by their asshole boyfriends. Unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Johnny has been told repeatedly that he’s the meanest person on the planet and possibly a spawn of the devil himself (what scares me is I like to think mom is holding back to keep from hurting my feelings when she keeps telling me that). And Bill, Bill is just an asshole. Seriously, if I were a girl I wouldn’t date him.

So why are we doing what we’re doing? Johnny believes that in the battle of the sexes there can be no winners. That wasn’t good enough for him; he wants to be sure that there is nothing but losers. Thus turning over enough male secrets to makes sure the war is fought to a stalemate, primarily for his own amusement. Bill’s primary goal in this is, and I quote “to meet a butt load of hoes.” I have no idea what that means, really.

Now, why the assumed names? Our identities will be kept secret for numerous reasons. Johnny firmly believes that it’s the work that should be the center of attention, and not the people behind it. That and he also doesn’t want his mother to know he has a potty mouth.

Bill on the other had loves being anonymous. If no one knows who he is, there will be no one who can dispute anything he says about himself. Like the size of his penis, which is huge. Let it be known I typed that line under duress.

We have also decided to make the site a little more interactive (when I say we, I pretty much means me. When I pitched it to Bill he gave the response he always does when I bring up new ideas; “I don’t care, just make sure they know I have a big dick.”). At this point we’ve received one letter asking us a specific question about guys and why they do some of the things that they do. Who better to ask then a couple of guys who don’t mind being brutally honest? So anything you’ve ever wanted to know about men, boyfriends, the masculine view of dating, whatever, write us and ask. To give you an idea of our qualifications (besides the whole having a penis thing), I not only have an extensive background in psychology and sociology, I have also spent a combined seven our eight years in long term relationships – most of which were spent living with a girlfriend.

And Bill, well...come to think of it I’m not sure if I’ve ever even seen Bill with a girl. I think he might have been raised on a farm and has a lot of intimate knowledge about livestock (I’ve been told by Bill that under no circumstances am I to post that last line. So let me make a little note to myself to remove the offensive line for Bill, who never bothers actually reading my blogs – just the comments from “all those chicks.” There, now I’ll be sure to remember).