The Complete Guide To What Men Really Want

The very short simple version –

To win

To watch someone else lose

To have sex

The slightly more detailed version

To build, fix, or break something

To blow something up

To watch something blowing up (on TV, in movies)

To simulate something blowing up (I.E. video games)

To watch something go really, really fast

To watch something go really, really fast – then explode

Buy a shiny new toy

Buy a better shiny new toy

Drink a beer/alcohol

Drink a beer/alcohol with friends

See female nudity or scantily dressed females

Compete with other males

Watch other males compete against each other

(Ideally – get into a fight while watching other males compete while being cheered on by nude/scantly dressed females – even better if you can fit some explosions in there)

Catch and/or kill some form of less intelligent living creature

Gather useless information

Gather more useless information than anyone else

Be left alone

To get laid

How To Compliment Your Boyfriend

There seems to be a bit of a demand for information on the subject of what a girl should say to compliment her boyfriend. It’s sweet in a way because it shows a good number of women out there who recognize their own needs who want to reciprocate the same for their partner. Unfortunately it is another example of the two sexes not realizing that the opposing sex has a completely different set of needs and desires.

What compliments can you give to the man in your life? What can you say to boost his self esteem? What does he want to or need to hear from the woman in his life? In all honesty, not much at all. In general the average male doesn’t need a compliment, but he does have two needs that are fairly similar.

To understand the male mentality on this subject, I’m going to return to the dog/puppy analogy. If you understand the basic needs of a male puppy, you’ll understand the needs of your average male. Both have a different set of priorities than your own. If you walked up to your dog and said, “My, what a fine coat you have. You look very attractive in it. Have you been working out?” The dog is going to give you a quizzical look and return to licking themselves, the compliment completely wasted on them.

To a human, most canine actions seems random or pointless, they run around, they bark, and periodically bring dead things in from the yard to plop down at your feet. To the dog, their actions make complete sense and are all very deliberate. They don’t bark to hear the sound of their own voices, they bark to protect you. If you could translate what they were saying it comes out to “This is my human and my human’s property. Stay away from my human because I love them.” As gross as it is, when they drag in a rotting corpse of a dead animal, they’re attempting to deliver two messages, “Look at what a mighty hunter I am to have defeated the smaller mammal. I bring you the spoils of my conquest to thank you for feeding and loving me.”

A dog doesn’t want a compliment, it wants acknowledgement for its achievements. Keep that in mind as we go on, and if you can understand the type of reaction a dog is looking for, you’ll understand the same when it comes to the male human counterpart.

Back to your boyfriend. Of all the things I’ve heard males complain about, not once have I ever heard one say, “She never tells me I’m pretty.” Number two on the top ten list of complaints about girlfriends is almost always either not being thanked for, or barely acknowledged for a gift or symbolic gesture of the boyfriend’s affection. “She didn’t like the present I got her,” “She didn’t say anything about the roses,” “I fixed all the broken things in her apartment and she acted like she didn’t even care.”

Just like a dog is physically incapable of saying “I love you,” so is the average guy. They don’t tend to express things verbally because, to them, that seems pointless. What they want is prove and express their feelings with an action that has a tangible result. They fix your car, they buy flowers, dinner, lend you CD’s, clean up the yard, repair various things, fix up your computer, or any other numerous things that a girl might not care about or assign any real significance to. It’s easy to overlook, but if you pay attention to all the little things a guy does, it’s his way of proving his worth to you. Every last one of these things means, “Look at what a capable person/provider I am. I bring you gifts because I love you. I fix all your things because surely I am the best possible mate for you who will continue to fix your things in the future.” You might not realize it but a man unclogging your toilet is his own way of advancing to the next level of commitment.

Back to the compliment. Again, a guy doesn’t need to be told he’s pretty. What he needs is to be acknowledged for whatever he does for you and, just like the dog, he expects nearly the identical verbal reward. If he spends the day working on your car, unclogging the rain gutters, mowing the grass, setting up your stereo, or whatever – the reward he wants is, “You are sooo sweet. Thank you so much. You take such good care of me.” He wants a positive reaction to the effort put forth. It’s a mans basic instinct to not vocalize feelings but rather to show them with his actions. Whoever he does the most for is the one he cares the most about. Even if he shrugs off the thanks or praise, it’s what he lives the most for and needs to hear specifically from the woman he loves.

Especially where gifts are concerned. I’ve seen too many times where a girl receives a gift and appreciates it with an internal warm glow, without expressing the feelings to the male gift giver. When that happens the male feels he’s not appreciated and tends not to bother with more gifts in the future. They’re looking for the squeal of excitement and happiness. The woman to throw her arms around him and kiss him on the cheek. Just like when a dog does something for you, it wants you to grab both sides of its face, shake its head and go, “Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” A gift baring male is hoping for a similar reaction. If you are lucky enough to have a male who actually brings gifts, you have to make him feel appreciated. If your guy doesn’t bring presents, it probably means he was in a relationship before where the girl showed too much indifference towards his efforts.

If you’re not into the extreme reaction, there are a few simple phrases you can throw around that are almost as good. Practice say, “Aww, thank you,” “You’re so sweet,” “You’re so thoughtful,” or the one every guy wants to hear more than anything, “I don’t know what I would do without you/I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” Without this type of positive reinforcement, you’ll find that his interest in putting too much effort into further gifts/signs of affection will completely disappear. It’s a learned behavior. If he’s happy with the reaction he gets, he’s more prone to putting more effort into making you happy in the future.

Finally, the closest thing you can give compliment wise to a guy is acknowledging his interest. Males are competitive by nature and any interest or hobby they pick up, the goal is to be the best, most creative, or accomplished in that field. Mechanics, carpentry, music, sports trivia, cards, computers, games, drinking, entertainment, whatever endeavor they dump the mass of their time into (that you wished they would spend that time with you) is where they want your acknowledgment most. Where ever they put the biggest percentage of their free time, the secret desire is to hear, “Wow, you know more about (insert interest here) than anyone else I know.” Even if they don’t show it, if they hear that from the woman in their life, their chest puffs out a little more with pride for the rest of the day.

How Can You Prolong A Male’s Performance

How Can You Prolong A Male’s Performance

Here's a question for you. How do I get my boyfriend to take a little longer in bed? I'm not asking for miracles here but I'd guess it takes me about 5-10 minutes to hit that first orgasm and the boy hasn't even gotten that far. At this point I'm not even worried about having decent multiple orgasm sex...I'd just like to have something that goes on for long enough to not be considered foreplay.

P.S. - Pouting and bitching isn't working either.

Serious issue here, which we’ll handle seriously…mostly. Mostly seriously because it’s no laughing matter. Unless it’s happening to another guy, then it’s pretty damn funny. But, seriously, there is an answer. As usual, to find out the solution, we must first fully understand the problem, and where it stems from.

So, why are so many guys trigger happy in bed? You’d think as much time as the average guy puts into getting into a girls pants, he’d want to hang out there as long as possible. Maybe he’s worried she’ll figure out how big of losers he is before he finishes, and wants to bust a nut before she changes her mind.

Actually, the problem comes from guys being raised to be goal orientated. From sports, to driving, to careers, or even video games, a male is brought up to define a goal, then achieve it as quickly as possible. Something that, unfortunately, most guys transfer to every other aspect of their lives. They consume food instead of eating it, slam beers instead of sipping wines, and perform in the bedroom like an Olympic sprinter on speed. “Get in, get off, get out.” On the bright side, unlike many other male issues, this is a learned behavior and not an innate one. You can counter for it, with time.

The most direct route is getting him to switch his goals on a conscious level from getting off to getting his partner off. If he knows that the first priority should be the girl’s pleasure, it makes a world of difference in his performance. Bringing the issue up directly can be uncomfortable at best, so you’ll most likely want to use the less direct route, correcting his behavior with out him realizing you’re doing it.

One thing to stress, you’ll not correct it by using the same techniques that were utilized to get him into that mind set to begin with. Calling him a “limp dicked girly man” worked for the gym coach to get him to run faster, but it’s not going to have the effect you’re looking for, unless a drunken mess with anger issues is what you’re after.

First off, communicate with him. Most guys are frighteningly ignorant in what makes a girl happy in bed. Why? For the same reason they’re idiots in every other way in making a girl happy, you won’t tell us what you want. You want us to figure it out, which is in direct conflict with the goal of getting off as quickly as possible.

Learn this phrase; “let’s try something new.” It works great in the bedroom, and won’t do you a damn bit of good anywhere else. Guys hate that phrase when it comes to activities like new places to eat, culture, or anything that interferes with sitting on the couch watching TV. But in the bedroom they can’t hear it enough – provided it’s brought up as something new and adventitious and not as “let’s do something new because what you’re doing right now really sucks, and not in the good way.”

You have to teach him that sex is not foreplay. Keep in mind that when you mention foreplay, everything you say to him will sound like some strange and foreign language that he can’t understand, so you’ll have to teach by example. While, “will you give me a massage” sounds like a chore, “will you strip me down and rub your hands all over my naked body” on the other hand is pretty cool.

Flat out ask him to kiss your back, to lick your skin, to touch you where you want to be touched, and how you like to be touched there, because he’s afraid try it on his own for fear of being yelled at or breaking something. And it’s very important that you let him know that you like it. Moan, make noises, reward his effort. Let him know when he’s doing something right and he’ll be more likely to start exploring on his own. Wait for him to figure it out, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Not communicating that you like something he’s doing, he’s going to stop doing it.

Do the same for him. Touch, kiss, explore. If you’re going to spend any amount of time with him, it’s a long time to stick to the missionary position for ten minutes. Get him to play with you, and scream your fool head off. Make your pleasure his reward; once he sees the effect it has on you, he’ll switch from the goal of just getting himself off. And if he doesn’t, then it’s time to move on.

Once real foreplay is introduced, then you can start working on ways to extend his performance. There’s a few small tricks that you can use to extend it briefly, like holding him tightly at the bottom of his shaft to keep him from popping too soon, but that really only adds a minute or two. There are two main ways to improve his longevity and performance.

First, switch positions often. Think about him as a runner shooting down the track to the finish line at lighting fast speed, which isn’t what you want. If you want to keep a runner from his goal, you trip him or put hurdles in his way. Let him get a few strokes (uh, you’re boyfriend, not the runner) then stop him. Every time you put a ten second pause, he has to start over. The faster he goes, the faster he finishes. Counter with either staying on top and controlling the speed, or making him stop to switch to a new position. Eventually these delays help build up stamina.

The second method is getting him off twice. For most guys, the first one is quick. Give him an hour or so, and the next will last a little longer, but don’t give him that much time. Sixty-nine or oral works well. Get him off then get on him with no time to recover. Go right for penetration. That should give you the five to ten minutes you want.

Or, if you’re not into oral, just don’t stop once he cums. Give him about ten seconds after sex to catch his breath without pulling it out, then go back to it. Handling it like that keeps you five minutes in, and him starting all over again. It might be a bit rough on him the first few times, so make it worth his wild by being vocal in what you’re getting out of it. He can’t please you unless he knows that he’s pleasing you.

It does take time. The only quick fixes I can offer is getting him coked out of his head or filling the condom with a topical anesthesia. You just have to train him or he’ll never figure it out. Don’t approach it to him, or even in your mind, as him being bad in bed. Think of it as making him good in bed, work with him, and he’ll get there in time.