How Can You Prolong A Male’s Performance

How Can You Prolong A Male’s Performance

Here's a question for you. How do I get my boyfriend to take a little longer in bed? I'm not asking for miracles here but I'd guess it takes me about 5-10 minutes to hit that first orgasm and the boy hasn't even gotten that far. At this point I'm not even worried about having decent multiple orgasm sex...I'd just like to have something that goes on for long enough to not be considered foreplay.

P.S. - Pouting and bitching isn't working either.

Serious issue here, which we’ll handle seriously…mostly. Mostly seriously because it’s no laughing matter. Unless it’s happening to another guy, then it’s pretty damn funny. But, seriously, there is an answer. As usual, to find out the solution, we must first fully understand the problem, and where it stems from.

So, why are so many guys trigger happy in bed? You’d think as much time as the average guy puts into getting into a girls pants, he’d want to hang out there as long as possible. Maybe he’s worried she’ll figure out how big of losers he is before he finishes, and wants to bust a nut before she changes her mind.

Actually, the problem comes from guys being raised to be goal orientated. From sports, to driving, to careers, or even video games, a male is brought up to define a goal, then achieve it as quickly as possible. Something that, unfortunately, most guys transfer to every other aspect of their lives. They consume food instead of eating it, slam beers instead of sipping wines, and perform in the bedroom like an Olympic sprinter on speed. “Get in, get off, get out.” On the bright side, unlike many other male issues, this is a learned behavior and not an innate one. You can counter for it, with time.

The most direct route is getting him to switch his goals on a conscious level from getting off to getting his partner off. If he knows that the first priority should be the girl’s pleasure, it makes a world of difference in his performance. Bringing the issue up directly can be uncomfortable at best, so you’ll most likely want to use the less direct route, correcting his behavior with out him realizing you’re doing it.

One thing to stress, you’ll not correct it by using the same techniques that were utilized to get him into that mind set to begin with. Calling him a “limp dicked girly man” worked for the gym coach to get him to run faster, but it’s not going to have the effect you’re looking for, unless a drunken mess with anger issues is what you’re after.

First off, communicate with him. Most guys are frighteningly ignorant in what makes a girl happy in bed. Why? For the same reason they’re idiots in every other way in making a girl happy, you won’t tell us what you want. You want us to figure it out, which is in direct conflict with the goal of getting off as quickly as possible.

Learn this phrase; “let’s try something new.” It works great in the bedroom, and won’t do you a damn bit of good anywhere else. Guys hate that phrase when it comes to activities like new places to eat, culture, or anything that interferes with sitting on the couch watching TV. But in the bedroom they can’t hear it enough – provided it’s brought up as something new and adventitious and not as “let’s do something new because what you’re doing right now really sucks, and not in the good way.”

You have to teach him that sex is not foreplay. Keep in mind that when you mention foreplay, everything you say to him will sound like some strange and foreign language that he can’t understand, so you’ll have to teach by example. While, “will you give me a massage” sounds like a chore, “will you strip me down and rub your hands all over my naked body” on the other hand is pretty cool.

Flat out ask him to kiss your back, to lick your skin, to touch you where you want to be touched, and how you like to be touched there, because he’s afraid try it on his own for fear of being yelled at or breaking something. And it’s very important that you let him know that you like it. Moan, make noises, reward his effort. Let him know when he’s doing something right and he’ll be more likely to start exploring on his own. Wait for him to figure it out, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Not communicating that you like something he’s doing, he’s going to stop doing it.

Do the same for him. Touch, kiss, explore. If you’re going to spend any amount of time with him, it’s a long time to stick to the missionary position for ten minutes. Get him to play with you, and scream your fool head off. Make your pleasure his reward; once he sees the effect it has on you, he’ll switch from the goal of just getting himself off. And if he doesn’t, then it’s time to move on.

Once real foreplay is introduced, then you can start working on ways to extend his performance. There’s a few small tricks that you can use to extend it briefly, like holding him tightly at the bottom of his shaft to keep him from popping too soon, but that really only adds a minute or two. There are two main ways to improve his longevity and performance.

First, switch positions often. Think about him as a runner shooting down the track to the finish line at lighting fast speed, which isn’t what you want. If you want to keep a runner from his goal, you trip him or put hurdles in his way. Let him get a few strokes (uh, you’re boyfriend, not the runner) then stop him. Every time you put a ten second pause, he has to start over. The faster he goes, the faster he finishes. Counter with either staying on top and controlling the speed, or making him stop to switch to a new position. Eventually these delays help build up stamina.

The second method is getting him off twice. For most guys, the first one is quick. Give him an hour or so, and the next will last a little longer, but don’t give him that much time. Sixty-nine or oral works well. Get him off then get on him with no time to recover. Go right for penetration. That should give you the five to ten minutes you want.

Or, if you’re not into oral, just don’t stop once he cums. Give him about ten seconds after sex to catch his breath without pulling it out, then go back to it. Handling it like that keeps you five minutes in, and him starting all over again. It might be a bit rough on him the first few times, so make it worth his wild by being vocal in what you’re getting out of it. He can’t please you unless he knows that he’s pleasing you.

It does take time. The only quick fixes I can offer is getting him coked out of his head or filling the condom with a topical anesthesia. You just have to train him or he’ll never figure it out. Don’t approach it to him, or even in your mind, as him being bad in bed. Think of it as making him good in bed, work with him, and he’ll get there in time.